My intention taking Ayahuasca

What do I want to ask Ayahuasca? What will my intention be?

Today I contemplated how the Milky Way is shaped like a disk, with a black hole in the middle. This is a fascinating thing to me. I also learned that according to theories, when you enter a black hole, all your particles disperse, which can be compared to when you take psychedelics and experience ego death. It’s like all the particles that make you, pull apart, and scatter across the universe.

I can’t help but to wonder if ego death is like falling into a black hole.

The insanely interesting part about this, is that you can feel each particle touch every part of the universe when you experience ego death. When we die, it’s not an actual death, as in we experience nothingness, like atheists theorize.

It’s more like…an expansion.

I can’t help but to wonder if every particle in our bodies are entangled somehow, so when we die, the particles split apart and spread across the galaxy, so we retain some sort of connection, some sort of higher consciousness.

Which can be related to intense meditative states, or psychedelics, since in these states, the particles that create our consciousness, separate from each other. We enter a higher consciousness, like neurons that are scattered across a galaxy, able to connect even in extremely far distances.

I don’t know if I want to ask Ayahuasca to heal me. I carry a lot of past trauma, but I’ve learned to live with it. I’m also growing to accept the true nature of death and aging. I’m even opening up my heart to accept light and love. And I’ve accepted there is no right or wrong path. I don’t think I’m searching for life direction anymore.

I think what I really want, deep down inside, is to ask Ayahuasca to help me link together consciousness and physics. I want to understand how it all connects- how my consciousness creates my reality, I want to see how much reality changes the more I change my consciousness, I want to be able to determine what I’m capable of sensing, from that which I cannot sense.

I want to know if there’s any way I can sense even more- surely, technology can help me do this, surely technology is how we create senses that are not there- and if I’m searching for some sort of technology, will you give me insight on how to build it?

I want to find the center of everything. Is the center a black hole? And if so, what does that mean? Is there a piece of knowledge that can wake our civilization up?

Am I searching for technology, am I searching for piece of knowledge, am I searching….for God?

Perhaps, I want to meet God while I’m alive. And I want this God to give me the power to connect us all, before I pass on. I don’t want to rule the world, I want to connect all of it, I want us to all work together to keep our planet alive, I don’t want people to starve or suffer, I want to save this tiny planet.

If its a piece of knowledge I’m looking for, I don’t know if it will be enough to wake everyone up. It’s common knowledge that we are all just floating in the universe, we are all so small. Yet no one tunes into this. I didn’t even tune into it until not long ago.

The piece of knowledge “We are on a small tiny space rock in a vast universe” gets interpreted in crazy ways by our brains. Often, it causes huge anxiety, so people focus on ways to survive instead. But if we grow as a society, we will remove our survival instinct. Once our survival instinct is removed, what’s left? A more clear mind, that is full of compassion, that can solve the worlds issues.

Perhaps I’m searching for a way to expand my consciousness and a way to expand the consciousness of the world. I don’t wish to change anyone, I wish to add to every person in this world.

The problem is, most people are asleep. They avoid thinking too hard about their existence, because it exhausts their brains, and they feel crazy. So they just go through the motions of life- without ever questioning it. Of course, I won’t judge that way of living. Its easier to be asleep.

But for me, and others like me, who have woke up- what can we do? The easy answer is to just spread love and kindness, which is what I will dedicate my life to doing. The harder answer is just another question- can I wake everyone else too?

It’s insane to me, that we just go through life, without ever once looking down at our bodies and asking What is this? I frequently stare at my own body, realizing my consciousness is inside this thing that was build to procreate. Procreating itself is a way of expanding our consciousness- its creating a new one that is entangled with us, and we put everything we’ve learned in life into this single creature, then we pass on.

A lot of us don’t live enough to really learn anything. We procreate when we’ve only had a glimpse of life. Not only that, procreation is no longer beneficial to the survival of the  Earth. We have too many people here already- now is a better time to wake the people that are here up.

In this time period I’ve been born into, the future of humanity is looking dark. We’ve messed up too much of our climate, and many of us can’t eat. We are still stuck in a singular survival mode, and I want us to move away from trying to survive for ourselves, and trying to survive as a collective consciousness. We need to assure the survival of the entire Earth, and the borders that separate us must be demolished.

Only when we can all work together, is when we will be able to create technology that will allow us to live outside of the planet.

I can’t help but to wonder if there is some sort of way I can expand the consciousness of humanity. A way that will help us see love everywhere- a way that will move our goals away from ourselves, and to the entire planet.

This is something that can be done the quickest through politics- through changing the way society works and functions, so people do not have to fight for their own survival. But is politics going to work quick enough to save the planet? This is also something that can be done through religion- but because religion is fading out, this may not be the way.

Is a quick fix possible? I hate using the word “quick fix”, because its such a Western thought process. But indeed, there are things out there, that can be fixed VERY quickly. For example, If I’m cold, all I need to do is crawl under a blanket, put on a jacket.

Can there be a quick fix for the lack of connection in our society? Can there be a way to expand our consciousness QUICKLY?

The reason why I want it to be quick is because we don’t have a lot of time left, before our Earth dies. And people are suffering.

Pills only alter our consciousness, Ayahuasca will only alter our consciousness. The more we alter our consciousness, the more we expand. The more possibilities we see.

Is there a way to dramatically shift our consciousness a million times? And will our nervous system be able to reorganize itself to encompass the expansion?

Surely, its impossible. The time it takes to reorganize is way too long. Especially for my own neurons, that are desperately trying to organize all this new input its receiving. Not only that, if you don’t want to expand, then you just won’t expand.

There are too many factors, and its most likely impossible. But when I study quantum physics, I gain hope that perhaps, it is possible. It takes a minute to transform a particle into a wave- all you have to do is observe it. 

If people can just observe their own minds, imagine what they could do. If people could observe the Earth, with the feeling that they are connected to every soul on Earth, imagine how they could rearrange it, so that every soul is happy, and so that the beautiful Earth can stay, happily in the galaxy.

I think my intention in taking Ayahuasca is to expand my consciousness.

The more I expand, the more I can see, and I feel like that will help me find answers to some of these big questions.

-Shunya Rose